Can't keep up

Lately i've been trying to work on the whole anxiety thing...I think it's going decently well. I'm not fucking medicating myself so I have to find other options. So far....deep breathing and rational thinking are helping me scrape along.

My new life got off to a rocky little start but appears to be shaping up. One problem I currently have is making my money stretch. But i'm not dirt broke...and I'm not wasting away so I guess my complaints about money are trivial.

Another issue that sits heavy on my mind is not being part of everything going on at home. I miss being around those who make me the happiest..and although i'm making friends down here in Providence I feel like I can't 100% be myself. I don't feel as comfortable around these people and it's a shitty feeling not knowing who you can open up to. All my friends at home are back at school and are too busy to talk to me..nevermind come visit me. I miss talking to my best friends everyday and visiting my aunt. I'm not that far away....but I'm far enough out that I feel like I can't keep up with my old life.

I keep saying how I want to up and move to California but how can I? I'm stressing so much about whats happening an hour away...god knows how i'll cope being across the entire country.

I keep telling myself that I just need to focus on school and work and accomplishing my goals but it doesn't seem to matter if I don't have the friends to share my happiness with. My friends are important to me and the relationships I have with them are beyond words.