Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
February 26, 2010
January 19, 2010
1/2 okay. 1/2 not okay
1/2 of things in my life are going well. As far as career related things I'm right where I want to be. I want my career in the hair industry to take me to every corner of my own imagination. I want to push myself beyond anything I could have imagined and continue to grow as a stylist. This is the most important thing to me. This isn't really a "career"...this is a lifestyle. My lifestyle. Cutting hair is my outward expression of creativity. Every head I touch is a blank canvas and my job is to match my vision with the clients vision to create a cohesive piece of art. I've wanted this since 8th grade and it's crazy that it's happening. I've literally dreamed and fantasized of behind behind the chair and now I'm 5 months into it. It's unreal to me when I step back and see that my goal of 8 years is underway!
Fucking shit.
The other half of my life that is not going so well is trivial really and it's ridiculous that I'm even letting something so out of my hands get into my head. I've been single for over 2 years. I don't even know what to make of it. It's not that I want to force jumping into another relationship but I would think..that after 2 years and a lot of change in my surroundings might let me meet someone? And it's not that I couldn't acquire a boyfriend...because I could, people have showed/told me their interest in me. But for SOME reason...the lovely gentlemen that are interested IN ME do not match the gentlemen I WANT as a companion. WHY IS THIS.
Oh wait..my favorite part is when I like someone...they show interest...everything is rad between us, then it gets ripped out from under me. That's awesome. It's happened twice so far and I always get left with the shit end of the stick. Somehow.
I'm surrounded by all these goddamn relationships with their PDA, facebook updates "with my babyyyy <3" and cute fucking make out pictures. PUKE PUKE PUKE. I feel like someone is literally rubbing shit in my face, winking at me, and then walking away hand in hand with their lover. I feel as though I have a lot to offer and I've crossed the paths of some who I thought would be a good match and it fell apart. Everyone tells me I like douche bags but I don't think that's the case. I'm not sure what the issue is..and I'm not going to try and figure it out.
There's nothing fucking wrong with me, right? I don't know.
Ugh..someone caught my eye recently but I'm not acting upon it. I can't. I'm all set with being let down again. I don't know what i'm going to do..but I know i'm going to do nothing.
Fucking shit.
The other half of my life that is not going so well is trivial really and it's ridiculous that I'm even letting something so out of my hands get into my head. I've been single for over 2 years. I don't even know what to make of it. It's not that I want to force jumping into another relationship but I would think..that after 2 years and a lot of change in my surroundings might let me meet someone? And it's not that I couldn't acquire a boyfriend...because I could, people have showed/told me their interest in me. But for SOME reason...the lovely gentlemen that are interested IN ME do not match the gentlemen I WANT as a companion. WHY IS THIS.
Oh wait..my favorite part is when I like someone...they show interest...everything is rad between us, then it gets ripped out from under me. That's awesome. It's happened twice so far and I always get left with the shit end of the stick. Somehow.
I'm surrounded by all these goddamn relationships with their PDA, facebook updates "with my babyyyy <3" and cute fucking make out pictures. PUKE PUKE PUKE. I feel like someone is literally rubbing shit in my face, winking at me, and then walking away hand in hand with their lover. I feel as though I have a lot to offer and I've crossed the paths of some who I thought would be a good match and it fell apart. Everyone tells me I like douche bags but I don't think that's the case. I'm not sure what the issue is..and I'm not going to try and figure it out.
There's nothing fucking wrong with me, right? I don't know.
Ugh..someone caught my eye recently but I'm not acting upon it. I can't. I'm all set with being let down again. I don't know what i'm going to do..but I know i'm going to do nothing.
May 19, 2009
open water, open road, open heart
Oh wow I'm a college graduate. I should feel decently accomplished by this and yet, I don't.
College wasn't my dream...but I did it because well I don't know, my family wanted me to. I'm glad I finished though.
Whatevs, it's over and I have a huge portion of life to live and it's completely open from here on out.
All I know* is that I want to cut some fucking hair and travel. If I could do that in any combination for the rest of my life, i'd be content. And if "love" weaseled it's way in at some point I suppose i'd be okay with that however i'm absolutely not counting on that considering i'm not convinced it exists anymore.
I've been in one relationship and i'm 22.I don't know if this is good or bad. I mean i've had a lot of 'me time' which is awesome because that's rare once youre married and tied down. I don't know how I exactly feel about being single all the time. Everytime I look around I see a damn couple and they're happy and stupidly adorable together and it's depressing.
Then I think, fuck it I don't need somebody else to make me happy. And then again it's so nice to just have someone there knowing you can count on them when all else fails.
My standards are high and yet i'm not hard to please.
Ugh, I'm just happy I don't settle because that's pathetic and weak.
I just can't seem to figure out how and why people find new relationships a few months after their last. I'm going on 2 years since my last, so clearly I don't like to jump into anything.
I'm just wondering-where is everyone? Why are you so hard to find?
*all I know is 3 separate words and not allsiknow. there is no plural!
College wasn't my dream...but I did it because well I don't know, my family wanted me to. I'm glad I finished though.
Whatevs, it's over and I have a huge portion of life to live and it's completely open from here on out.
All I know* is that I want to cut some fucking hair and travel. If I could do that in any combination for the rest of my life, i'd be content. And if "love" weaseled it's way in at some point I suppose i'd be okay with that however i'm absolutely not counting on that considering i'm not convinced it exists anymore.
I've been in one relationship and i'm 22.I don't know if this is good or bad. I mean i've had a lot of 'me time' which is awesome because that's rare once youre married and tied down. I don't know how I exactly feel about being single all the time. Everytime I look around I see a damn couple and they're happy and stupidly adorable together and it's depressing.
Then I think, fuck it I don't need somebody else to make me happy. And then again it's so nice to just have someone there knowing you can count on them when all else fails.
My standards are high and yet i'm not hard to please.
Ugh, I'm just happy I don't settle because that's pathetic and weak.
I just can't seem to figure out how and why people find new relationships a few months after their last. I'm going on 2 years since my last, so clearly I don't like to jump into anything.
I'm just wondering-where is everyone? Why are you so hard to find?
*all I know is 3 separate words and not allsiknow. there is no plural!
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