1/2 of things in my life are going well. As far as career related things I'm right where I want to be. I want my career in the hair industry to take me to every corner of my own imagination. I want to push myself beyond anything I could have imagined and continue to grow as a stylist. This is the most important thing to me. This isn't really a "career"...this is a lifestyle. My lifestyle. Cutting hair is my outward expression of creativity. Every head I touch is a blank canvas and my job is to match my vision with the clients vision to create a cohesive piece of art. I've wanted this since 8th grade and it's crazy that it's happening. I've literally dreamed and fantasized of behind behind the chair and now I'm 5 months into it. It's unreal to me when I step back and see that my goal of 8 years is underway!
Fucking shit.
The other half of my life that is not going so well is trivial really and it's ridiculous that I'm even letting something so out of my hands get into my head. I've been single for over 2 years. I don't even know what to make of it. It's not that I want to force jumping into another relationship but I would think..that after 2 years and a lot of change in my surroundings might let me meet someone? And it's not that I couldn't acquire a boyfriend...because I could, people have showed/told me their interest in me. But for SOME reason...the lovely gentlemen that are interested IN ME do not match the gentlemen I WANT as a companion. WHY IS THIS.
Oh wait..my favorite part is when I like someone...they show interest...everything is rad between us, then it gets ripped out from under me. That's awesome. It's happened twice so far and I always get left with the shit end of the stick. Somehow.
I'm surrounded by all these goddamn relationships with their PDA, facebook updates "with my babyyyy <3" and cute fucking make out pictures. PUKE PUKE PUKE. I feel like someone is literally rubbing shit in my face, winking at me, and then walking away hand in hand with their lover. I feel as though I have a lot to offer and I've crossed the paths of some who I thought would be a good match and it fell apart. Everyone tells me I like douche bags but I don't think that's the case. I'm not sure what the issue is..and I'm not going to try and figure it out.
There's nothing fucking wrong with me, right? I don't know.
Ugh..someone caught my eye recently but I'm not acting upon it. I can't. I'm all set with being let down again. I don't know what i'm going to do..but I know i'm going to do nothing.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I won't say no, how could I?
ReplyDeletei have liked you, for a while now actually but like you, i wont ever do anything about it and obviously i will never let you know who i am because i dont have the balls to tell. yes i am a guy. you are a gorgeous and sweet girl. well most of the time you are nice at least ;-]. i cant seem to find anything wrong with you but maybe thats just me. someday shit will turn around even if you have to wait until you are like, 50. someday.
ReplyDelete